Haven’t blogged in a bit. been busy watching my chunk ( my roomie’s son) and being tired afterwards. he wears me out sometimes.. lol..
But everything is the same. still no job. really don’t think i want one, even though i know i NEED one. i just don’t want to be working security anymore. and i’m to dam old for fast food joints. my mom has a friend up at the hospital that can get me into taco bell cuz she knows the manager, but i really don’t want to work there, and deal with little kids and drama. even though i would go in there and do what i had to do and leave, i just don’t want to be around that, or come home smelling like fucking tacos. lol..
But i guess i’m going to have to put an app in there, cuz my roomie and his girl are moving out. they are looking for a house of their own cuz the little girl that he has is pregnant again, and don’t know how to use birth control. her son is only 1 and she’s due again in June i like her don’t get me wrong, but she’s the one that’s making my roomie leave me. he don’t want too, its just that he has too, cuz of her living up in a more or less one bedroom with him and chunk and then a newborn on the way too? there would be no room. so i am kind of harboring some resentment and hate for her because she is taking my best friend and my heart away from me. :( he’s the best friend i ever had, and i know that I’ve had issues with him, but he makes me laugh, makes me forget everything that i’m worrying about and stressing about and he’s my biggest supporter, and the sex is great too. lol.. and i don’t want him to leave me. i’d be here all alone. and i’m scared of that. my daughter will be home for the summer, but after she goes back to school, i’m all. ALONE…
And if i don’t have a job by the time that they move, i have no idea how i’m going to pay the Nipsco or the water bill. i don’t have anyone to help me out like they have. cuz they are the ones that pay them 2 bills now. shit, i have to worry about how i’m going to pay my phone bill and my internet bill. yea, my daughter will be working this summer so that she can get back to school this fall, but i don’t want to depend on her to pay the phone and internet.
I don’t know. but i know i need a job. maybe i’ll do some webcam shit.. lol. sit in front of the computer eating for people who like to watch fat girls eat… lol.. (there’s no way in hell i’d do that.. lol ) or hell, do webcam porn.. maybe i’d make some good money doing that.. lol.. but i know i have to get my ass out and work a real job. but every time i put an app in, no one calls me back. and i’m old fashioned and think that they should be the ones to call me and not me call them. yea, it shows interest in the job, but i feel that i’m nagging them..
But i got to do something. i should be putting apps in now… but i’m on here and facebook.. Facebook is the devil i swear.. lol..
But i’m out!!!